| | I feel sick to my stomach. What a mess! This really has been some sort of year. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| This has been a very tough school year for me on all accounts. I have struggled with a new class, new school, new leadership, new coworkers, new everything. Through it all, I have done my best to maintain a positive attitude. I think some days, I fall short.
I continue to question my purpose in this profession and really in life in general. I have done more praying lately that in days past, and I feel as if I am really just searching for myself. One day, I hope, I will find what it is that truly makes me happy and sets me free from the stress and anxiety that plagues me. I hope that one day soon, I will feel confident in the choices I have made, and will feel happy just being me.
In all the confusion, one bright spot exists. My love for my husband has grown infinitely in the past few months. I am not afraid to admit that year one of marriage was a challenge, and every day is a work in progress, but I could not imagine this life without this man. He is everything and more, and I am so unbelievably happy with how we have grown together. I pray for continued growth, and I look forward to the time when every day can be spent with the love of my life. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 11:45 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/flowers/happy.gif) content |
|
| I met my husband 8 years ago today. It's pretty hard to believe, yet it's difficult to imagine a time in my life when I didn't know him. I feel like god was totally watching out for us this day eight years ago. Everything just happened so perfectly. I feel so blessed to have spent so many great years with the love of my life. I'm so glad he is mine forever. :)
p.s. I can't believe we've almost been married a year too. Time goes by unbelievably fast! | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| I'm not sure that anyone reads this thing anymore, seeing as I don't post hardly ever these days, but I thought while I had a second I would at least put down some of the latest and greatest happenings. If anyone reads it, great, if not, at least I have it down for me.
Teaching
We're currently on Spring Break, thus why I have the opportunity to write. Our state exam is in two weeks, and I'm extremely nervous about it. My class is so incredibly smart, but sometimes their ability to recall information is seriously lacking. I know they are prepared for the test (as best as I could prepare them), I just hope they truly shine!
To be honest, I fall in and out of love with teaching pretty regularly. I adore the children I work with, and absolutely love filling their minds, but I've often felt this year that I have the potential to do bigger and better things. Regardless, I couldn't ask for a much better job in the grand scheme of things...although I could ask for a little better pay. ;)
I have been displaced this year, which means I had to interview for a new job at different schools. We are losing about 400 students to a new school that is opening nearby so 16 teachers had to go (It's based on years with the county and number of degrees, so as you can imagine, I was near the bottom of the list. #4 to be exact.) I went to two interviews, and was offered a position teaching 2nd grade again at the second school. It is a brand new school that will open for the first time in the fall. I'm excited to be a part of something new, but I'm extremely nervous for a variety of reasons. I have become very comfortable in my current environment and am really hating the idea of having to leave. Also, the new school is not in the best area of town (at all!) and is also about a 40 minute drive from my house. I'm trying to be optimistic though!
Marriage
I won't lie. Marriage has been very challenging for us. I thought it would be a breeze having known each other more than 7 years before marrying, but it has been anything but. We have had to work really hard at times, but a lot of that is due to the extreme circumstances we've had to face already. Jeff has only lived at home for about 3 of the 9 months we've been married. He currently lives in AL where he'll be for at least 1 more year, and depending on the war situation, it's very likely his next stop will be Iraq after that. The constant distance makes it very difficult to keep a good line of communication. I will say that our marriage grows stronger daily because of the challenges. I think we are facing some of our greatest struggles right off the bat. I don't think it can get too much harder. Luckily, we're still deeply in love through it all. I'm just hoping we catch a break sometime soon.
Home Sweet Home
I really enjoy our house, but it stinks to live there alone. I'm also not too fond of the area we live in so I'm hoping for a move in about a year. Jeff and I would really like to move closer to where we went to college. We love the N. GA area, and we're hoping we can make our way up there after another year of me teaching here. If we do that, I could also go back to coaching in the evening, which is something I really miss in my life!
The Future
I applied to an online graduate program. If I make it in, my classes will start at the end of this month. I'm really hoping I can get this started and over with. I love learning, but at this point I'm not really into projects and papers anymore. Once I get accepted it should take me 20 months to complete. I figured this was good timing with Jeff being gone for the year. Something to stay busy with, and hey, I'll get a raise when all is said and done.
I'd really love to start trying for a family this summer, but unfortunately life isn't where it needs to be for that. It would be dumb for us to put ourselves in that situation with all that is going on currently. I've been most disappointed about this part of our life recently. Our goal originally was to start trying this summer. Again, I'm trying to see this as a time for further growth together, but it's hard not to think about how much time is going to pass before we will have the opportunity to try.
That about covers the important things, I guess. I'm mostly just plugging along through life the best I can. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| I'm OK bound. I'll be leaving ATL on Thursday afternoon to spend some time with Jeff. I'll arrive back in ATL late Sunday night. I am so excited about seeing my husband!!!
Since I have the whole week off next week, I'll be going down to visit my family either Tues or Wed since I'll miss out on the Thanksgiving festivities.
I needed a break, and this is going to be such a great treat!! I'm ready for Thursday to be here! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Here's the deal:
Jeff is in OK, has been since October 28th. Plane tickets have come down enough (though still $500) where I could fly in to visit him for Thanksgiving.
However, my family has Thanksgiving/Christmas on Thanksgiving. It's a huge deal. We all draw a name a year in advance (last Thanksgiving), and we have to buy a gag gift, tool, gift card, gift, and lotto tickets. So on top of Thanksgiving dinner we do the whole gift exchange for Christmas. It's the only time during the year that my aunt, uncle, and cousin are in town from VA and the entire family gets together.
I feel like my family will hold it against me if I don't come to the get together, but I really want to see my husband. He will be completely alone Thurs.-Sun. if I don't come because all of the guys he has met and knows are going home.
I feel like my husband is my family now and I should spend this time with him, but I also feel like I can't let me other family down.
What would you do in this situation?
I feel so sick about it! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I dropped Jeff off at the airport this morning. He'll be gone until Dec. 15th. I starting crying before I even pulled away. The airport was crazy as usual, and I couldn't even pull over and get out and hug him. He had to frantically grab his bags, get out, and I had to keep on moving. I didn't expect myself to get so emotional about it. We've been through these long sepeartions many times. I think it's harder now because I'll be in OUR house by myself having to do it all alone. Even worse is the fact that he won't be here for Thanksgiving. That makes me heart hurt. Luckily he'll be back for Christmas. In January we begin the long seperation. I'm thrilled for him to have this opportunity, but I also hate being alone. I will live for the weekends next year!
While Jeff is away, I'm going to try to stay busy. I hope to get caught up at school, to start working out more regularly, and to get the house the way I'd like it. The more I do to stay busy, the less I have to think about how much I miss him. It's going to be a challenging year ahead. I have so many mixed emotions about it all. The best I can do though is take it one day at a time. Just one day at a time... | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 07:18 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/flowers/angry.gif) irritated |
|
| | I'm getting really annoyed. Our professional pictures were supposed to be ready 4-6 weeks after the wedding. If I'm counting right, yesterday would have made 6 weeks. I've tried emailing and calling the photographer and have heard NOTHING. At this point, all I can say is that our pictures better be good because I'm not very happy right now with them. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| Jeff and I got back from our honeymoon on Friday evening. It was fabulous! We did not want to come home to the real world.
We're so happy to be married. We've felt married for years, and now it's official.
July 7th was the best day EVER. Several things went wrong, but you couldn't convince me of it. I thought everything was perfect. We've heard nothing but great things. It was so much fun!
I'm at my parents house right now taking care of a few things. Jeff left this morning for his 2 weeks of summer training. I miss him already. It's amazing to have him as my husband. We just go together.
I hope to have pictures to share soon. I've seen some that friends and family took and they are great. Hopefully I'll have some time later in the week to share some.
While Jeff's gone I plan to finish moving my stuff into our house and get everything put away (it's such a huge task!) and also move into my trailer (or as I perfer, mobile knowledge unit) at the school. I'm definitely keeping busy.
For now, I'm just recalling the best week ever, beginning with the best day. I've been trying to write down all the details I can remember. Maybe I'll share it when I'm finished. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| The wedding is so close I can see the weather forcast!!!
Saturday 7/7
Periods of clouds and sunshine - High 89 / Low 68
I'm so freakin excited!!! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | The End... | | Time: | 01:43 am | | Current Mood: | pleased |
|
| for now.
My life is taking such monumental turns right now. Changes are around every corner. It's incredible, overwhelming, scary, and fun all at the same time.
Tomorrow (well today really, it's late) is graduation. I am graduating Valedictorian which I am so amazed and proud of. As such, I get to sit on the stage with the president, guest speaker, and all the other "important" people. It's going to be so surreal looking out into the crowd-seeing my peers, my family-seeing the life that is ahead of me. It's so hard to explain how I am feeling right now. I feel like every day lately is such a dream.
Tomorrow will pass so quickly and then the countdown to my real life truly kicks in.
The wedding is just two months from Monday.
I will be a wife to the most amazing man so very soon...I cry every time I think about it. My love for him grows every day. It's the absolute most incredible feeling and I can't believe after seven years, it's finally our time to become one.
I start teaching August 6th. I look forward to being in charge of the room, doing things my way. I look forward to working with the fresh faces that walk into the door. I pray that I can bring them the wisdom and knowledge that they deserve.
The emotions running through me right now are overwhelming, but I wouldn't trade them for the world. God is really working in my life, and I'm loving every minute of it!
In the blink of an eye I'll be a college graduate, wife, and teacher. Amazing! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| You'd think that 7 different field experiences with actual teaching, a 4.0 GPA, and a darn good smile (ha!) could get you a job these days. I guess not.
I thought hard work was supposed to pay off.
I have interviewed for about 398043098 jobs. I have been offered one. Unfortunately, I don't want to teach self-contained special ed. There's a reason I did the dual major and did not just major in special ed. I want to use my special ed. degree in a regular classroom setting. Is that too much to ask?!?
I could scream. I feel so inadequate these days. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| We had our first good snow in years today.
( Check it Out! )
I have so much to catch up on, but I'm enjoying a lazy day! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I kicked my student teaching off today with a teacher "work" day. LOL
I laugh because we did about 30 minutes of actual work in a 7 hour day. haha Oh, and we went to a faculty meeting, but that wasn't much of anything either.
Some observations thus far:
- I'm pretty certain I'm going to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this class. My teacher is AMAZING. He is absolutely HILARIOUS and makes it so fun to be at the school.
-The principal seems very nice and welcoming.
-I can already tell how exhausting teaching will be. I have really bad feet and they hurt like hell after walking around the school all day today. I know standing on them all day long is not going to be good.
-I need to get more sleep than I'm used to to survive.
Kiddies come back tomorrow. More to come soon... | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | 2007 | | Time: | 02:18 am |
|
| Happy New Year to All! 2006 was a great year in many ways, but I am thankful it is over.
So much to look forward to in 2007...
1. student teaching- 2nd grade (starting on Wednesday- AHH!)
2. graduating- May 5th
3. wedding- July 7th
4. honeymoon to who knows where
5. getting our own place to live and living with my *husband*
6. finding a job
7. possibly starting grad school?
8. last year coaching gymnastics....for now
So many fun, exciting, scary things to look forward to this year. 2007 here I come! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Last two finals are tomorrow.
I have a unit presentation and a final over children's literature (I have to know about 50 books and their authors-ugh!).
Tomorrow night cannot come fast enough. This has been the semester from hell. I can't wait for it to end!
On the wedding front, tomorrow is seven months till the big day. I can't believe it! We have our premarital counseling with our priest on Saturday. I've very nervous. I hope he won't frown upon us too much for some of the choices we have made. He's a really nice guy, so I'm hoping it won't be too bad. We'll see.
Ok, back to memorizing books and authors. What's the point? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| So I was looking around online for various wedding stuff, and came across this website for chair covers.
http://www.angelchaircover.com
That's my reception venue in the picture. This is the best picture I've found of it online thus far. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| So here's me in my actual dress- we picked it up on Saturday.
( Lookie what's in my closet now! )
I have to get some snaps or something put in below the lace up back because it doesn't come with a modesty panel. You'll notice that I'm holding the dress closed in the second picture. lol
I'm so happy it fits well though...it looks even better in my size! | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
jenferfer618's journal![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/flowers/okay.gif){kind=small}
blah![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/flowers/sad.gif){kind=small}
sad